From depressed to kitesurfing in 5 days

Natural Warp
11 min readMay 22, 2024


What follows is a conversation between me and Gemini where I just ask some dead simple questions while seeking for help in a state of depression.

At the bottom you will find out what helped me to rekindle my spark.

Eternal Bliss” is a self portrait created in 2018.
Natural Warp

Hi, I am ( used to be ) a visual artist. I’m bored out of my mind. Help me.


I hear you, feeling uninspired is a real drag for any artist. But don’t give up on your visual art side just yet! Here’s how we can jumpstart that creativity:

Reignite the spark:

  • Step outside your comfort zone: Explore a new medium you’ve always been curious about, like digital art, collage, or sculpture.
  • Shift your perspective: Take a walk in nature, visit a museum with a style different from yours, or watch a documentary on a topic that fascinates you.
  • Embrace limitations: Set constraints like a limited color palette or a specific theme. Sometimes boundaries can spark fresh ideas.

Rekindle your love for art:

  • Do a creative deep dive: Revisit the work of artists who inspire you. Look for new details or techniques you can incorporate.
  • Seek inspiration online: Browse online art communities like DeviantArt or Behance. There’s a whole world of creativity out there.
  • Challenge yourself with prompts: There are tons of online resources with daily or weekly art prompts. They can be a great way to get those creative juices flowing.

Remember, creating isn’t always about masterpieces:

  • Do some freewheeling art: Set a timer for 30 minutes and just create without judgment. Don’t worry about the outcome, just have fun.
  • Fill a sketchbook: Carry a sketchbook around and doodle observations, ideas, or even frustrations.
  • Experiment with found objects: Give new life to random things you find around the house and create an assemblage or mixed-media piece.

Bonus: Sometimes a break is the best medicine. If you’re feeling burnt out, step away from art for a bit and focus on other things you enjoy. You might be surprised by how refreshed you feel when you come back.

There are many ways to get out of your creative rut. Don’t be afraid to experiment and find what works best for you. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the process!

Natural Warp

Ok, so I’m taking a break, but everything is meaningless, now what ?


It sounds like you’re going through a period where you’re feeling uninspired and questioning the meaning you find in things. That’s totally normal, and taking a break is a great first step. Here are some ideas to explore during this time:

Explore new interests:

  • Learn a new skill: Have you always wanted to learn to play an instrument, speak a new language, or code? Now’s the perfect time to try something completely different.
  • Volunteer: Helping others can be a great way to feel connected and make a difference. Look for volunteer opportunities that align with your values.
  • Travel (or explore locally): A change of scenery can do wonders for your perspective. Even a local staycation can be refreshing.

Focus on self-discovery:

  • Reflect on your values: What’s truly important to you in life? Take some time to journal, meditate, or talk to a therapist to explore this.
  • Reconnect with yourself: What activities bring you joy outside of art? Maybe it’s spending time in nature, listening to music, or reading.
  • Practice gratitude: Focus on the good things in your life, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal can be a helpful practice.

Remember, this is a temporary state:

  • Be patient with yourself: It takes time to find a new direction. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have everything figured out right away.
  • Embrace the unknown: Sometimes the most significant growth comes from stepping outside our comfort zone.
  • Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you’re feeling.

Taking a break from art doesn’t mean giving up on it forever. It might be the reset you need to rediscover your passion and approach your creativity with fresh eyes.

Natural Warp

I’ve had a couple burnouts in the past 5 years and recovering from them takes time indeed, but now I have the feeling it’s more like a depression and a state of nihilism that is getting to me.


It sounds like you might be experiencing more than just creative burnout. Depression and nihilism can be tough to navigate on your own. Here are some steps that might be helpful:

Seek professional help:

  • Talk to a therapist: A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping mechanisms for depression and nihilism. They can also help you differentiate between a creative rut and a more serious issue.
  • Consider medication: In some cases, medication can be helpful in managing depression. Talk to a doctor to see if this might be a good option for you.

Build a support system:

  • Connect with loved ones: Talk to friends, family, or anyone you trust about how you’re feeling. Sharing your struggles can be a huge relief and their support can make a big difference.
  • Consider support groups: There are online and in-person support groups for people struggling with depression and nihilism. Connecting with others who understand your experience can be incredibly helpful.

Take care of yourself:

  • Prioritize healthy habits: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and exercising regularly. These things can significantly impact your mood and overall well-being.
  • Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques like mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help manage stress and negative thoughts.
  • Engage in activities you enjoy: Even if it’s not art right now, find activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose.

Remember, there is hope:

  • Recovery is possible: Many people recover from depression and find ways to manage nihilistic feelings. Don’t give up on yourself.
  • Focus on small steps: You don’t have to have everything figured out right away. Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your progress.
  • There is beauty in the struggle: Even during difficult times, there are moments of joy and connection.

Here are some resources that might be helpful:

Remember, you’re not alone in this. There are people who care about you and want to help.

Natural Warp



You’re very welcome. It takes courage to reach out for help. Remember, there are many paths to finding meaning and joy in life. Don’t hesitate to reach out to the resources I mentioned or seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed. In the meantime, here are some non-professional tips that might be helpful:

  • Spend time in nature: Studies show that spending time outdoors can improve mood and well-being. Go for a walk in the park, hike in the woods, or simply sit outside and listen to the birds.
  • Help others: Volunteering or doing something kind for someone else can give you a sense of purpose and connection.
  • Practice gratitude: Take some time each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, big or small. Keeping a gratitude journal can be a helpful practice.
  • Focus on the present moment: Mindfulness practices can help you appreciate the simple things in life and reduce rumination on negative thoughts.

Remember, be patient with yourself. Healing and rediscovering meaning takes time.

Natural Warp

Let’s take social media and content creation for example. Everything sounds meaningless.


You’ve hit on a point a lot of people grapple with on social media. Here’s why it might feel meaningless:

  • Curated Perfection: Social media is a highlight reel. People tend to present the best versions of themselves, which can make your own life feel mundane.
  • Constant Comparison: It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.
  • Focus on Likes and Followers: The pressure to get likes and followers can make content creation feel inauthentic and transactional. It can take the joy out of creating for yourself.

If social media is making you feel this way, here are some options:

  • Take a Break: Sometimes the best remedy is to step away entirely. Consider a social media detox for a week or a month and see how you feel.
  • Curate Your Feed: Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or that no longer spark joy. Focus on accounts that inspire you or make you laugh.
  • Shift Your Focus: Use social media to connect with friends and family, or to follow creators who inspire you. You can also use it to promote your art without the pressure of going viral.
  • Focus on the Process: Remember, the joy of creating comes from the act of creation itself, not the validation you get online.

Here are some things to consider that might give social media content creation more meaning for you:

  • Connect with a Community: Use social media to find other artists and build a supportive community.
  • Share Your Process: People are often interested in the behind-the-scenes of creative work. Share your process and connect with others who are passionate about art.
  • Use it as a Tool: Social media can be a powerful tool to promote your work and reach a wider audience.

Ultimately, whether or not social media content creation has meaning for you is entirely up to you. Don’t feel pressured to participate if it brings you down. However, if you do choose to use it, there are ways to make it a more positive and meaningful experience.

Natural Warp

How am I going to have an impact in the world if I don’t even use social media ?


Making an impact in the world absolutely doesn’t require social media! Here are some ways to find meaning and purpose outside of the digital sphere:

Focus on your local community:

  • Volunteer your time: Soup kitchens, animal shelters, and community gardens often need help. You can also offer your skills to local organizations that align with your values.
  • Support local businesses: Shop at farmers markets, buy from local artisans, and frequent independent bookstores and cafes.
  • Get involved in local government: Attend city council meetings, volunteer on committees, or even run for local office!

Make a difference through your actions:

  • Live sustainably: Reduce your carbon footprint by using less energy, recycling, and walking or biking whenever possible.
  • Practice kindness: Small acts of kindness can go a long way. Hold the door open for someone, pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line, or simply smile at a stranger.
  • Mentor someone: Share your knowledge and experience with a younger person. You could volunteer as a tutor or mentor a youth in your community.

Use your talents and skills:

  • Teach a class: Share your knowledge by teaching a class at a community center or adult education program.
  • Create art that inspires: Even if you’re not sharing it on social media, your art can have a profound impact on those who see it.
  • Write a letter to the editor: Share your thoughts on important issues with your local newspaper.

The impact you make doesn’t have to be grand. Every positive interaction, every kind gesture, and every effort to make a difference ripples outward and contributes to a better world.

Here are some additional thoughts:

  • Focus on your passions: What are you truly passionate about? This can be a great starting point for finding ways to make a difference.
  • Don’t be afraid to start small: You don’t have to solve world hunger overnight. Start with small, achievable goals and build from there.
  • Find inspiration in others: Look for people in your community who are making a positive impact. Their stories can motivate you to get involved.

Remember, you have the power to make a difference in the world, with or without social media. Focus on your strengths, find your passion, and take action. You’ll be surprised at the impact you can have.

Natural Warp

I used to be interested in many things, what happened ?


There could be a few reasons why you used to have a wider range of interests and now feel less engaged. Here are some possibilities:

  • Burnout and Depression: As you mentioned experiencing burnout and feelings that might be related to depression, these can definitely zap your motivation and enjoyment of activities. When you’re feeling down, it takes more effort to find things stimulating.
  • Changes in Life: Maybe you’ve gone through major life changes like finishing school, starting a new job, or having a family. These transitions can shift your priorities and leave less time or energy for hobbies.
  • Loss of Novelty: It’s possible you’ve simply outgrown some of your interests. Activities that were once exciting might feel routine now.
  • Evolving Tastes: Our tastes and preferences naturally change over time. What you found interesting a few years ago might not hold the same appeal today.

Here are some things you can do to rediscover your interests:

  • Reflect on the Past: Spend some time journaling or talking to someone you trust about the things you used to enjoy. What aspects of those activities did you find most engaging?
  • Try New Things: Even if it feels daunting, step outside your comfort zone and try something completely new. You might discover a hidden passion.
  • Reconnect with Old Hobbies: Sometimes revisiting a past interest with fresh eyes can reignite your passion.
  • Break Down Activities: Perhaps an activity feels overwhelming because of its scope. Break it down into smaller, more manageable tasks.
  • Find a Community: Connect with others who share your interests. Online communities or local clubs can provide support, motivation, and inspiration.

Remember, it’s okay if your interests have changed. The important thing is to keep exploring and find things that spark your curiosity and bring you joy.

>>> And this is where I left the conversation <<<

When Gemini typed “Reconnect with Old Hobbies” : I suddenly remembered where my one of biggest sparks and reasons for joy used to live for many many years, and this was while Kitesurfing !!!

I have been kitesurfing for 10 years in many places around europe and some years really fanatic. At a certain time I was journaling all my sessions and counted something like 150 sessions in 3 years.

So I thought about it a couple seconds and started browsing the web for new kitesurf equipment and just went all in again. Such a beautiful feeling.

I just had to stay aware that the old remnants of constant doubt and fear wouldn’t destroy this dream.

Now today ( 1 week later ) I just finished my first session in years and it was amazing !! I’m so glad I followed up on this tiny spark and I can definitely say this is a new chapter in my mind and body balancing quest.

Thank you for reading, I just wanted to share this with you and everyone who might need to read this.

Warm regards,



Natural Warp

My work is all about creating art and living a life inspired by the psychedelic experience.